You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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