i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Randomize
