HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
this will be a night to untag.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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