I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize