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Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
