So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
