I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
