I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
