Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize