I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
