If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
