If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We have so much sex to catch up on
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
