i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
