I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
