I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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