he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
