please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
