tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
