Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
