On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Damn victory sex feels great
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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