I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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