i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
