how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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