i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
