Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
