Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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