i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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