a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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