I think im going to throw up on grandma
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize