she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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