Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize