Jerry, you need to find god
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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