Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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