I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
