Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
