I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
