Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize