do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
When are your genitals available?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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