Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Please, let me fuck your mom
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
