I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Is it penis luge time yet?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
