hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
