And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
