After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
