It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
