I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I can't turn off my feet"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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