Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
