who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
