? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So vagazzling was a success
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