i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
