Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
All the doctor said was why
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
