Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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