I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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