If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
