i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
