They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
what is it with giant penises always finding me
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Randomize
