actually, I'm a sock model
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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