It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
