Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
