She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
