My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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