I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Actions speak louder than pants.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
